Game Review: Candles & Cannons

Candles & Cannons is almost single-player Battleship: the theme is about firing cannons into the ocean and you would want to sink adversaries and mark your treasure. The difference comes in the card values determining whether your score will sink or swim.

The tableau is two fields for the shore and the ocean. You control the shore cards with its titular candles and cannons. Starting with one lit candle you swap cards up to three times before cannons fire. To light a candle you swap it with a lit one and each lit candle lights up the same square on the ocean grid. You can also swap 

After three swaps cannons next to lit candles fire, landing on the same spots on the ocean grid, revealing any hitherto face-down cards. If it hits a pirate the cannon cards on it must be equal or greater to score, if it hits a piece of treasure it must be lower than the treasure or both sink to the discard pile.

After firing cannons a candle is relit then the other lit candles burn out. Grids are refilled when possible but the game only ends if it's impossible to relight a candle. Points are given for shot pirated and salvaged treasure and points are deducted for any sunken(discarded) treasure and any cards left on the ocean grid.

Make the most of the information available as you will have to take risks with what your cannons shoot. The game penalizes for missed cards as much as wrong hits so just having something to hit is better than leaving too many ocean cards at the end of the game. 

The two types of targets still play differently enough even if in any case hitting a card in one shot is better. You will have to fire at unknown cards so it's worth making the most of what you do know, candles can only show so much.

Ending the game is rather arbitrary and the late game doesn't have a sense of cleaning up as one might expect.

Summerpalooza 2025 Results

Chadsworthy: "When you've mastered the art of flatulentce, you can use it for propulsion." - 2 pts, 2 vts

Poopyfartbutt:

Me after 6 shots: gravity can't tell me what to do.

Him: what the hell kind of science experiment is this?

- 3 pts

CheeseyPickle: Behold! Pants on wheels! - 7 pts

Pope Puree: "Damn, white privilege is crazy" - 17 pts

dietotenh: "...When you divide by 0." - 2 pts, 1 vt
Ipskulin: "When the swamp ass has reached its limit" - 0 pts

Shakara: [slide whistle] - 19 pts
verDAnt puRplE: Gravity? Where we're going we don't need gravity. - 5 pts

Lyssa OwO: oklahoma - 3 pts

PAINterguy: When you hit the "hee hee" just right - 2 pts, 2 vts

		1				1				2
			3							3
	1		1		2		3			7
2	3	2		2	1	3	1	2	1	17
									2	2
										0
3		3	2	3			2	3	3	19
	2			1		2				5
					3					3
1								1		2

 

Zanthia: When Chef Marco realised what they meant by "Can you do the beets for the staff party".

SirStabsaLot: order up: one pan seared bass dropped in fresh beats!

Soxfan196o: when they tell the chef he needs to be the elvis impersonator and the dj
Avandor: DJ Remy moved on from cooking food to beats
Voryn: "When your hair is brighter than your future"

OctogenariCherub: "Though his coworkers shunned his act, Swedish Chef Mafia was the most successful Muppet endeavor of the 2009-2013 period."

Chadsworthy: Dr. Clayton Forrester before he turned to a life of torturing employees with crappy movies

LordVenom: let this man cook

Skent: 3d food printing at it's best

Painterguy: Hades if he part-timed as a DJ

Game review: Swamp

Swamp is a quick puzzle game for the 2025 traditional deck contest that is akin to peg solitaire with cards. The grid of cards in play represents a swamp of animals that feed on each other, and as one animal gets eaten in this ecosystem another appears (you draw a card onto the layout), with the goal of finishing off the deck without causing ecological failure.

Clubs represent bears, Spades represent hippos and Hearts represent hogs, the three predators that eat not only each other but also the prey: ducks in the form of face-down cards (diamonds when drawn are placed face down.) On each turn you move a card one space to eat it, then place a new card on the space. Clubs only move vertically and eat spades, spades only move horizontally and eat hearts, hearts move in any direction and eat clubs but only if next to another heart before moving. All three animals mentioned eat ducks. If three clubs appear in a row horizontally, three spades vertically you lose, you also lose if you run out of legal moves.

Mobility is key; cards aren't as mobile as you think and it's easy to become restricted as the small field combined with movement restrictions can cause gridlock where you least expect it. Managing the number of animals in play matters when an imbalance either means not enough cards of a type to eat (and move cards to) or a bigger risk of losing through a three-in-a-row.

Mildly puzzling yet surprisingly chaotic, it's a real jungle out there.

Zanthia: Lettuce pray....
Chadomancer: Your camouflage is off to a nice start, Wayne, but remember to match your WHOLE wardrobe to your surroundings.
LordVenom: the start of the trees taking over all hail the OverGod Maple
Big dAdDy grImm: you can always tell which kids didnt read the presentation for the group project

TurtlesPhi: Yes, We are very normal totally human beings. We are definitely not here to take over earth.
Kalebb: "At the galactic Aroboratory, Jackie Chan realizes that the Lorax was trying to protect us from the trees"

littleBitOfSonshine: Not cute,and we can still see you. Said in a droll voice.

Khlaharah: Just leaving around
Avandor: And with your negative modifiers to your stealth roll... yeah, they see you.
Anaeri: Local courtroom drama heats up as Tree #2 takes the stand

Chadomancer:  Dude flexed so hard, his abs popped right off. - 7 pts

Vhar07:  POV, You realize that your a character in a soon to be amazing book(Hope the book goes well:) - 3 pts

Funrmunt: "God help me if I hear another gutless or spineless joke" - 8 pts

Unconventionable:  "I'm nothing without my clothes" - 8 pts

Kalebb: 0% bodyfat? That's cute. Try 0% body, noob. - 14 pts

Voryn: "even after doing one push-up and pretending it was a full workout." - 2 pts

nisemono: "I'm too sexy for my car" - 0 pts

	2		3	1	1					7
					3					3
2			2	3		1				8
	1	3		2		2				8
3	3	2	1		2	3				14
1		1								2
										0

(drawn by Shuratoshi)