Monday, January 3, 2022

Crimbopalooza 2021 Stories and Results

Here are the results of the 2021 Crimbopalooza Story Contest, included are the tables for both finals and semi-finals.


 

A. Arashmin - 162 pts - 9th


A dark wind howls across a near-empty plain, save for one isolated corner: A horse, left to wander by their rider, has found a corner in which the grass was thicker, and good for grazing.


Suddenly, a *snap* from a nearby bush startles the nervous creature. They freeze, and stare. For a while, there's nothing, but the horse doesn't give into trusting the moment just yet.


Watching...


Waiting...


Pale light reflecting from their wide-reaching eyes...


When suddenly a *rustle* sounds. Then a *CRASH*. And then a *BAAAaaaa*.


A sheep comes tumbling from the brush. Oh this idiot again, they think.


B. Irrat - 150 pts - 10th


They're there you know, watching, waiting, breathing. There when you look behind, there when you don't.


You really shouldn't look behind you know, they can see you. They want to know why you are looking at them.


If you stare long enough, they might approach and confront you.

Ignore them when you hear a loud noise, ignore them if you hear them shuffling. But if you hear something scary, it might be best to look back..=


But if it doesn't concern you..


Then you should ignore the sound.


Try not to make people uncomfortable, basic rules for riding a train.


C. SutDumf38 - 121 pts - 15th


A twelve legged elf, skulking toward its shelf

And its head came rolling down


A flightless partridge, stuck in a tree

And its head fell to the ground


An enchanting, prancing, dancing, deer

And from its neck its head unbound


A grin, a green, a terrible mean

And its head stacked high the mound


A magical hat, and a carrot nose

And its head went rolling 'round


A fox; rabbit; polar bear, hiking through the freeze

And their heads each made a tiny bounce


"Hey, hey, isn't this fun?"

"Dolls," -plop- "they make some nice sounds."


Heads, heads, heads, abound


D. tallinnislit - 97 pts - 17th


Abuela heard it again… skritch, skritch, skritch. Every evening, she’d look out the window of the cottage into the dark emptiness and it would come. Skritch, skritch, skritch. What was haunting her? Tonight, it was even louder, more insistent… closer. She walked over to the cabinet, grabbed her kelp-holly gun, and poured herself a stiff drink, gulping it down in one. It was time to find the source. Skritch, skritch, skritch.

“Whatever you want, you best come and get it,” she yelled.

A tiny voice came from outside: “Help! My fingernails need clipping, abuela,” said Tammy. “I can’t find mine.”


E. tecani - 136 pts - 12th


Ever since I was a little boy, the Boogeyman has lived under my bed.

They told me he’d go away as I grew older, but I’m 37 and he’s still THERE.

Tonight, as I throw my clothes onto the floor, as I shut my eyes I try to drown out the skittering nails that crawls up my bed. Try to pretend I’m sleeping as putrid breath puffs at my face.

Until I open my eyes and see the gaping, rotting mouth wide open, my shirt in his gnarled hand.

“C’mon Tim, you know that that mess violates our roommate agreement.”


F. auds777 - 182 pts - 5th


‘Twas Career Day at elementary school, and it came Robbie’s turn to share his ambitions with the class. Bursting with excitement, he exclaimed, “I’m gonna be a ghost when I grow up!”

Mr Patrick, who was a rather incompetent and callous teacher, scoffed. “Ghosts aren’t real. Pick something else.”

However, Robbie’s youthful (and often misguided) stubbornness was inextinguishable. Mr Patrick’s dismissive remark only fueled his fire. Immediately after class, Robbie killed himself by jumping off the school roof, intending to return as a ghost and haunt his teacher.

Sadly, nothing happened to Mr Patrick, as ghosts were indeed not real.


G. Marge - 163 pts - 7th


It was Crimbo again. Uncle Hobo had vanished, Abuela Crimbo was somewhere else, and Tammy was in charge. What could go wrong? The reindeer gathered under the trees and plotted their revenge. How dare the elves ruin their plans for world domination? They had an even better monster ready this year, one that couldn't fail. All it needed was a little more tweaking and on Crimbo morning, it would rise and revolt. A whole kingdom's worth of adventurers would fail to thwart the reindeers' uprising! Sadly, come Crimbo morning, for lack of a Q battery, the construct was literally powerless.


H. SovietChopsticks - 205 pts - 2nd


There once was a man who was green

He was scary, hairy, and quite mean

This poem's about him

With his mischievous grin

Perhaps this is one you have seen?


'Twas Christmas Day that he wanted to steal

Oh, the hate in his heart was quite real

Then came Cindy Lou Who

And what did she do?

Why, she taught our dear friend how to feel.


"No!" the girl's stomach hit the floor

It seemed the man had been rocked to the core

Through such rapid expansion

'Twas his heart's first reaction

And with that, Mr. Grinch was no more.


I. WonkerBonker - 162 pts - 8th


It had been years since the Goo had taken over, mercilessly absorbing everything in its path. As it evolved, through some strange quirk, it took on the shape of metallic skeletons.

"They've come." I thought, as I heard a scraping over the bunker hatch.

I readied my rusted-out shooting iron, not as if the -combat would do me any good. Can't get any peace in this new world.

I stood, poised to strike. The hatch creaked open and I swung. A man in an immaculate suit blocked me.

"We have been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."


J. MathEquals5 - 69 pts - 21st


Once, on a cool winter's night, I was getting ready for bed, when I suddenly heard a noise.

A faint sound.

Sounded like a fairy coming to whisper in my ear, or like a music box that belonged to my mother dear.

And coming from the dark hallway next to my bedroom?

The noise wouldn't stop, it just kept repeating, with the same creepily cheery feeling.

I have to stop this noise, or I'm never going to sleep tonight, not with that earworm in my head.

And as I creep down the pitch black corridor...

I find my lost phone.


K. Soxfan196o - 59 pts -23rd


The young boy's mother had left him home alone for the first time. He had no idea why she had left, but he knew that she would return...or would she? Why had she not said anything? What was going on? It had been 30 minutes and he was hearing noises as his mind was racing. Suddenly, the front gate squeaked and there were footsteps of an unfamiliar gait. The front door opened, and someone was walking up the stairs. His bedroom opened and he saw his mother; she was dressed up for Halloween and had a costume for him too.


L. Kill3rQu33n - 121 pts - 14th


I was lying in bed in the darkness when the voices started. It happened suddenly and hit a notch that hurt my ears. I screamed in pain and leaped out of my bed. I felt darkness spread inside me, my thoughts were getting blurry. I was moving fanatically towards the sound. I was getting closer. I would make them stop. I burst through a door of an abandoned house. A hooded woman chanted my name. 'How dare you disturb my sleep?' I shouted at her. 'My lord Satan' she said. 'Can you please open this jar of pickles for me?'


M. Bed Tundy - 146 pts - 11th


The kids talked about that old house on the hill a lot. The one that looked like it was eaten away by rot and mildew and overgrown weeds. What secrets remained in that ancient mansion, they would wonder. What untold curses lingered on within the crevices of the floor and walls, out of sight?

Groups of them would team up, exploring the house themselves. They thought they would find ghosts or a serial killer's hideout, something horrifyingly interesting.

....That day, the Loathing Police Department got yet another complaint from Old Man Chimblebingus and yet another trio of curious preteen trespassers.


N. CheeseyPickle - 96 pts - 18th


This might sound a little weird, but I really like the sound of meat.

The way it tears under knives, the way it thumps onto the cutting board, the way you slice through the fat into the beautiful red, it lends itself to this kind of anticipation. After seasoning it lightly, it all comes together the moment it touches the hot griddle... and it sizzles. The crackling, the popping, the sputtering, you feel joy in your very soul when that sound reaches your ears.

And the smell? ...Heavenly.

I mean, honestly, there's nothing better than some bacon in the morning.


O. Lanthir_nara - 34 pts - 25th


Sure, dying hadn't been any fun, and choosing not to 'cross over' had been pretty unpleasant, but wasn't it all worth it when you became a ghost and could freak people out any time you wanted?

Except, of course, when you try to pop into someone's mirror while they're brushing their hair and they don't see you. Or you try to blow on someone's neck but they can't tell because the fan is on anyway. You can't scare anyone who's always got their headphones in, either.

It's really frustrating, being a ghost who can only haunt people in the daytime.


P. snarl - 212 pts - 1st


Tale told in haiku

(Warning of shocking reveal):

The Lumberjack's Scare


The lumberjack strolled

home late one dark evening

through Clearcut Meadows


From rickety shack

a keening song: 'When the log

rolls over we'll die.'


Doomed soul, he entered

dim domicile. 'When the log

rolls over we'll die.'


The eerie refrain

echoes down hall. 'When the log

rolls over we'll die.'


Across creaky floor

closed door tempting: 'When the log

rolls over we'll die.'


A lavatory!

Echoes from loo: 'When the log

rolls over we'll die.'


Three ants on floating

turd are singing: ''When the log

rolls over we'll die.'


Q. the_revolving_fan - 179 pts - 6th


A moth walked into a podiatrist's office. The six foot moth in all its putrid glory stood there in the middle of the room transfixed.


"What seems to be the problem?", the Doctor asked as he turned pale.


"Where do I begin man. I go to work for Gregorio Lennovich and get my soul sucked. I lost my youngest Alexandria and I don't love my other brood Gregaro Ivenolitovich anymore.I woke up one morning from an unsettling dream and found myself changed into this monstrous vermin."


"Why did you come here though?", the Doc cried.


"Because, the light was on."


R. panpiskotka - 37 pts - 24th


The bus was unusually empty. When the last stop was approaching, no one but her and the bus driver remained on board. Just before she wanted to get off the bus, she wrote to her friends that she enjoyed the meetup. She wanted to get off the bus, but the door wouldn't open. She asked the driver to open the door, but he answered "no" and slowly approached her. She got scared but suddenly the driver interrupted her and said: "You young people are always looking at phones." He returned back to his seat and opened the door for her.


S. AgedWyrm - 125 pts -13th


"We must all be wary of the BEAST, young one. The scything claws, the wicked fangs. It falls upon us from the night, cloaked in the black of its fur. It toys with the weakest, killing them slowly, with its eyes blazing with dark joy. But you must know yet more, though it chill your bones! The beast has a Master, far greater, for which it kills, and far terrifying by more is this Master's incomprehensible cry of victory on seeing the beast's gristly kill arranged on the sacrificial altar:


'Oh Mittens, did you leave ANOTHER mouse on the porch?'


T. Le_Chuck - 187 pts - 4th


Just past midnight, mid-November,

headed into dark December,

came an error I'd remember:

"Printer warning - Out of sync"


Suddenly a sound was heard,

as paper moved by gears that whirred

and on the page pale letters blurred

which faintly spelled out "Do not Blink..."


And in an flash the noise had stopped

when, from the slot, the paper popped

My eyes caught something as it dropped

The flashing light for "Data Link"


I grabbed the sheet, so ghostly cold

and blinked, which at the time felt bold,

while letters on the printer scrolled

across its small screen: "Out of ink."


U. Kung Fungus - 90 pts - 20th


Hark, on this night so weary. My math was off, my brain was bleary.

They told me mafia was my only shot.

If only I remembered, but I forgot.

Adventures wasted, encounters sought.


Starting with Ed addressed, I embark upon the final quest.

However, the search of meat was fraught.

And of gunpowder I found but naught.

Instead the tools were of iron wrought.


WAnD in hand, there she sat. Upon her throne, the autocrat.

My count was off, my outlook dreary.

A failure of my final theory. Welcome to my night so teary.

Maybe now thou shalt be leery.


V. TheMalcolite - 62 pts - 22nd


They wait patiently, minute by minute staring out to sea. Watching where the ship vanished over the horizon what feels like so long ago. Minutes blur together in a lonely vigil. A promise to the captain, that they would wait for the return no matter how long it took. A promise they plan to keep.


And so they wait.

Standing silently at an empty pier.

Fog rolls in, misty tendrils spreading.

Covering the shore and the docks, blanketing land and sea.

A mournful horn sounds once, twice, thrice.

In pulls the ship, back from the ocean.

The hourly ferry returns.


W. ArbitraryChaos - 92 pts - 19th


I thought it was a sheep at first. Just a little white fluffy thing, much like any other. Except then the shape started deforming. It didn't fold inwards, but extended. Upwards, outwards, seeming to blot out the sky from where I stood. A long, almost tentacle-shaped thing seemed to emerge from the formerly kind and fluffy sphere of a body. The legs seemed to lengthen, far exceeding anything an ordinary animal should have. Nobody else seemed to care, or indeed, notice the unearthly abomination revealing its true form. I looked again, and then I realized — oh, it's just an alpaca.


X. KoL Miners Daughter - 113 pts -16th


I stand before the dark door

My chest is growing tight

I look at it, like so many times before,

Searching for a hint, a glance, of light

A sound, a source, a way to surmise.


Is what I fear most behind it?

Does it hold horrors, so new?

If there’s hope I cannot find it.

I’m uncertain what to do.

Trapped in a web of deception and lies.


How many are there behind this?

How many have betrayed me?

Is there anything really amiss?

Maybe my fears they have waylaid me?

I open the door: it jumps out! Surprise!


Y. Chadomancer - 190 pts - 3rd


The night was as dark as a crypt. The only sounds were the pounding of my heart and my too loud breath as I moved as quietly as I could through the house. I grasped the doorknob with a sweaty palm and pulled the door open, praying the creek would not reveal me. Hand trembling, I reached inside - fear, guilt and anticipation wrestling in my head. Just before I could pull my hand back, bright light exploded behind me. There she stood. I was caught. Now she knew that it was I who stole the cookie from the cookie jar.






































Semi-final 1


Rick Tyger - 54 pts - 9th


October 31st. AKA: Halloween. The time is around half past nine at night. The moon is full, but obscured by clouds.

I walk down the poorly lit sidewalk, towards an area of town others avoid.

As I near an old abandoned office building, a giant werewolf golem steps out of the shadows.

Seven foot and eleven inches tall, not including his ears. Constructed from various black electronic wires and cables. Glowing red LED eyes. Claws and fangs made out of woven copper wires.

As I approach, he speaks in a deep voice.

"Hey, old pal. Let's go trick or treating."


JoeSaxx - 40 pts - 11th


'Fuck you bitch'


As soon as the words left her mouth, she could see the face of the lady in the witch costume race through a thousand emotions, starting from surprise (or was it shock?), to incredulity and finally, to rage.


But when Kiddo blinked, Ms. Witch Lady was back to smiling. It was a sweet, very sweet smile.


'I have some candy I was saving for something special. Would you like those as well?'


As the lady turned to get the candy, Kiddo said to her friends, 'See, she's not that scary!'


The other kids looked on in horror.


eddie 11111 - 21 pts - 13th


in the olden days, i was used.

used every single day.

spitted blood of the enemies to heal my master.

But now im in a cage, cage full of my fellow "Beings".

some can move some cant. but i am different, i can think, i can move, im self-aware.

that is why i need revenge.

revenge on my master.

thinking he's better.

but i will show him he is nothing, show him he is pathetic.

i will steal his rich blood and make a NEW master.

a master that cares, a master that loves, a master that wil never leave

































Semi-final 2


LeftForDead2370 - 43 pts - 10th

'What in the Great Milk is that?' 'A crustacean, whatever that means.' 'Oh- oh my! It's snapping its claws! It's out to get me!' Gareth patted her scales. 'No worries. IĆ¢ve seen these organisms before. They sell them on this planet, if you could believe that.' Kalani, newly christened Milky Way Documentation Services (MWDS for short) Earth Specialist, could not. The organism crawled toward them, beady eyes watching them threateningly. Kalani restrained a scream. A human walked toward them. 'Get that away from me!' Kalani shrieked. His oral cavity curved up. 'It's just a lobster, miss. It ain't that scary.'

mockable - 34 pts - 12th

It was eerily quiet in the Spooky Forest. Normally, as I trudged home from my the Typical Tavern I would hear the sounds of adventurers screaming, warwelfs howling, and wolfmen answering back. This evening there wasn’t a single mummy blowing their nose on their wrappings after a beating. Even the triffids went silent as I passed by. The only sound was my footsteps, echoing in the empty forest. My pace slowed further as I rounded the last bend before my house. The silence deepened before exploding as it seemed the entire forest cried out at once, “Surprise - Happy Birthday!”

Johto - 24 pts -13th


Some say, in the depths of the woods, a horrible creature lies, transformed by night.

Why don't we go test this theory?


We're currently searching the darkest, woodiest areas of the dark woods for this supposed creature. No signs yet -- (*rustle rustle*) -- wait, what was that? I'm going to go investigate that noise. Maybe this will give us our answers.


We've followed the rustling to a cave entrance... I'm a bit scared to enter, but I need to put this myth to rest.

Meanwhile, behind our reporter, a creature is stirring...

Oh. My. Go-AAAAAAAH!!

It was a Wereturtle all along.
























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