Saturday, September 30, 2017

A primer on Hex

Let's be realistic, few people know what abstract strategy game means, let alone what one is. While the most common of them is chess, it's common enough for people to know the basics. Other simple games don't get the privilege of being easily known, so they have to make up for it by being easily playable.

Hex does the job quite well. It's simple enough not to need any help explaining from me, but it's always fun to play. While you need to make a board and grab some counters, there are some websites that provide hexagonal boards and other props.

So how do you play Hex? Hex is played on a hexagonal board shaped in a rhombic configuration, so the four sides will have equal units. You also need a bunch of counters, chips, stones, whatever, in two different colors. Two parallel edges of a Hex board are owned by one color, the other two by the opposing color (Corners are shared by both colors).

The goal is to have your two edges connected by an unbroken path of your stones, adjacency being edgewise. There will always be a winner in a game of Hex, as any chances of a deadlock are rendered impossible.

Play starts with a player placing a stone on any cell on the board, with play alternating afterward. Game ends when a player makes a connection between their two sides. The first player has an advantage, so after the first turn, the next player can either stick to their color or switch sides, after which play resumes. This "pie rule" is usually optional in some cases.

This game is a decent introduction to abstract board games, the rules are easy to memorize and explain, and play is pretty fun, even though there's a chance the game might be solved soon.

Usually, things start slow, and the first moves don't look important. Attacks might pop from here to there, a sustained march from side to side is hard to muster. The middlegame is a bunch of cuts and connections being made, but no sure endgame.

The endgame is just a race to pave their road, direct attacking can happen, but someone's already won at this point.

Hex is a nice, simple game that's fun to play however seriously you take it. I do hope a version gets published here in the Philippines.

Friday, September 29, 2017


ChunkyGnocchi: Seriously? These glasses are so dirty not even a bum would wear them! - 2 pts, 2 vts
girlTrex: Seriously, this dish looks so awful, I'd rather stab my eye with my glasses than look at it. - 2 pts, 1 vt
OrangeDyna: When you cut your toenails too short for the seventy-eight time. - 7 pts
Walowitz: When the toast doesnt fall jelly side up. - 13 pts

gorgontamer: Gordon had had enough of these damn gifs - 5 pts
Spaceballs the Horse: After saving up for months, young Gordon realized his X-ray spectacles he ordered from the back of the comic book didn't do crap. - 11 pts
TheSilhouette: "Darn Glasses fog!" - 2 pts, 2 vts


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MaybeBoB: Watch the wild Gordon's gluttonous behavior while in his natural habitat: the restaurant. - 3 pts
deadleeplatapus: This goes to show that you can create a wonderful meal from all the leftovers from stranger's plates. Be sure to pick out the bits of napkins and broken glass. - 12 pts

Costanzafaust: Do the $*%& dishes you $*%&# donkey! - 4 pts

turtleloid: "Stock photo" - 1 pt
Sparksol: So much food. Terrible food, good food...I don't even know what I'm eating now, or why I'm using chopsticks and a spoon. - 7 pts
Devilleboi: When you return home to see your roommate has left the dishes for you to do... - 9 pts


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deadleeplatapus: "I don't need a F(&*(^N switch to make me go off!!" - 6 pts, 3 vts
Walowitz: When you get a bit too jealous of Batman, but forget youre not as imaginative or resourceful. - 2 pts
gorgontamer: Gordoff had never been so confused in his life... - 7 pts, 4 vts
Thortag: Turning Gordon on is as easy as flipping a light switch. - 7 pts, 3 vts
Ugotponed12: Can we please turn him off now? Gordon is getting annoying - 6 pts, 4 vts
The Predator: What is this Switchcraft?? - 9 pts
StickStomper: Time to be Free, Man. - 5 pts

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Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Do we need a board?

I've been scanning the web for interesting board games I could get a hold on and play, and I found myself looking more closely at abstract board games. From the simple aesthetics to the purity of the rules, there is a charm to these sorts of games.

Unsurprisingly, these games have some common features that make them easy to classify. The usual way of classifying is by mechanic and goal, but these are not the only notable features in a game.

When looking for games, I also look at the material needed to be able to play the games. One of these aspects is the playing surface where pieces can be played on, generally called the board. Practically this is represented with a flat surface an either has a regular tessellation on its board or an irregular shape.

Even with boards that are theoretically three-dimensional, the geometry used for planes is still planar. Easily emulated are cubes and other rectangular prisms, cylinders and toruses. Antipod uses two boards to emulate a spherical surface, while ConHex uses a geometry similar to a stack of cannonballs, as pointed out by Cameron Browne.

That doesn't stop anyone from actually creating special three-dimensional boards or avenues to enable three-dimensional play without the need to visualize it using a bunch of two-dimensional surfaces. There have been rulesets for playing three-dimensional chess from Star Trek, and the Shibumi game system facilitates stacking, a key feature of the system.

While physical features might give depth to some games, this does not mean the game itself is in a 3D board. Connect Four can be played on a flat board if you keep in mind that the pieces have to be placed on the bottom most empty space.

This kind of board can have its shape already set or be freely formed. Set boards are those which shapes and layouts are preset and cannot be violated, such as a checkerboard or Go board. Malleable shapes are set randomly or arbitrarily, and can either be set shape and malleable layout, (Proteus) or both shape and layout are changeable (Limit). Most abstract strategy games suggest playing with the shape of the board, because why not?

But why bother with a board? There are some games that don't need a board, not counting some card games or party games. Technically this means that the board is infinite in size, but practically the board goes as far as the table or floor goes.

This can also mean that the board is simply fluid, with some games setting a border limit, usually in units, this means that while there is no board, as the game progresses, the borders are slowly being drawn.

Boardless games are usually tile games, or use tiles for the gameplay, which can also be along the lines of the malleable boards mentioned earlier. But not having a board implies free terrain goodness, placing anything on a space and going crazy. Some wargames do have that, but for abstract games having such a feature means removing any spatial factors when playing. 

Whether a board is a factor for your game choice is totally up to you, the only limit in board games is yourself.

TheSilhouette: SEGA cooked up another Classic! Gotta breakFast! - 11 pts
AshGM: Here we see the drawing that caused Ramsay to explode at a child. - 5 pts
Hunter Horrid: Hmmm, I wonder what tales would taste like medium rare! - 0 pts
ChunkyGnocchi: Gordon, at the sight of the illustration: "Wow. Oh wow, it's brilliant, I look like a fresh bunch of bananas. You can practically see me ripen by nature's command." - 10 pts
Aithre: "You gotta go fast you @#$%ing donkey" - 8 pts
deadleeplatapus: I told my kid I would post this because they are so proud, but since I think Ramsey is a royal a$$, I am shrewdly flipping the bird at him. - 2 pts
Tryntius: I would rather eat Tail's anus before that beef wellington - 6 pts


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darkgalaxypotato: Noobsauce gets a name change and goes missing - 10 pts
Sparksol: While some say the bottle of sauce would now be aged ten, it is more likely the hundred-pound bottle has been emptied by now. But the owners have not yet given up hope. - 2 pts
girlTrex: 100 pounds of lamb sauce goes missing for the first time in 30 years, it's probably being exploited. - 7 pts
Ugotponed12: mysterious sauce on the lam - 6 pts
tonytony40: Time traveling lamb sauce somehow goes missing for longer than its age - 8 pts
ElectricBoo: Plot twist: The producers of the show hid it for the show ratings when Gordon snaps - 3 pts



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Saturday, September 23, 2017



Fuzz Del Grango: what?? dried chilli chicken for breakfast?? you're a madman!!! - 1 pt

Lelep: Gordon Ramsay is finally pissed off enough to unlock his ultimate shadow-clone ability, and be angry at multiple cchefs at the same time. - 9 pts, 4 vts, 1 3
Sparksol: "I really hate doing this, but it's the only thing people will pay me for at this point! Now pretend I've insulted your cooking; if I get fired I'm spending every day in here." - 7 pts, 4 vts
Blastphemist: Yells : CAN YOU UNDERSTAND MY WORDS??? - 5 pts
girlTrex: Caption - Mirrors: Installed for 2x the Gordon Ramsay insults! - 8 pts
Spageht: Gordon ramsay agressively telepathically communicates with a chef who has learned to time travel, they're past selves lurking in the background - 2 pts
Straywolf: This chicken in so raw it just crossed the road to get away from your shoddy cooking! - 7 pts, 3 vts
ElectricBoo: "YOU THINK IT BURNS GOING IN? IT BURNS EVEN MORE COMING OUT JESUS CHRIST" - 9 pts, 4 vts, 2 3's


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Wednesday, September 20, 2017


Aithre: The lobster knows he's next. It has already known. - 2 pts, 2 vts
Devilleboi: Gordon ramsay so salty he creates salt with his hand - 5 vts
AshGM: Ramsay adding a pinch of kosher crack to eff the competing donkeys up - 4 pts
The Predator: On the left you'll see a Gordon in his natural habitat, making food saltier than an average LoL player - 13 pts
Ronge: A breeze of dried frogliver, 3 spoonfull of black glob and the spine of the BoenrDagon? yes! now for the final spin: SPIN Pastafari. E voila! - 2 pts, 1vt
Perire: Look mate, I know you're worried about being boiled. I'll add some salt to the water, to make it more like home. - 12 pts
Truejordan: More like gordOFF Ramsey am I right - 2 pts, 2 vts
Spaceballs the Horse: The fish looked on in horror from their tank of doom as Gordon continued to douse their brothers and sisters in cups and cups of cocaine - 8 pts
The_Dancing_Viagra: quote "Goddammit I can't get this italian hand thing right" - 6 pts


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