Chadomancer: It was then that Jerry realized he had confused the scalp wax for Super Glue once again. - 11 pts
Soxfan196o: Thats my good boy. - 8 pts, 3 vts
Don_Domat: Did you put superglue on your head to paste your hair??? Omg, yes, you really did! - 4 pts

Vitellozzo: When you are bald but your love is so angry she forgets it and start pulling you by your ghost hair strings - 2 pts
hleghe: "trying to get hair from a stone" - 5 pts, 2 vts
Marconius: when my spouse wants to try a little hair pulling and I'm doing my best to make her happy - 7 pts, 4 vts
Zanthia: It's called a pony tail because when you lift it up there's an arsehole underneath! - 1 pt
Yawwn: "I know a bowler when I see one" - 7 pts, 3 vts

The Patron Saint of Depravity: As you can see, my kink has been adversely affecting my hairline. - 4 pts

amoebalady: Neville was horrified to find that his brilliant plan to shave his head did not, in fact, shield him from the consequences of making derogatory and insulting "jokes" at Sheila's expense. - 10 pts
Cheese: When your kink isn't feasible but she works with you anyways - 5 pts, 4 vts
Drbanjo: You're fighting ed the unbalding - 8 pts, 4 vts

	2				2	3			3	1			11
		3	2					3					8
	3			1									4
							2						2
		2									3		5
1		1						2		3			7
									1				1
2					3				2				7
				3			1						4
			3	2		1	3				1		10
			1		1			1			2		5
3	1					2				2			8

Review: Checkmate in Your Pocket

Cards and chess, two game forms so different from each other yet every now end then someone tries to make a synthesis of a game. The results of mixing luckless chess and literally-associated-with-gambling playing cards have varied, but you cannot have one without the other. 

Checkmate in Your Pocket is surprisingly a solitaire, but your goal is still to checkmate the opposing king on a 1-dimensional board of eight cards. Cards move and capture each turn, new ones appearing until finally the kings pop up for the last standoff. Each card moves and captures a certain way that is as close to chess as a linear board allows. Each turn you move a piece, your opponent moves a piece then you capture. A piece capturing a piece worth four points more lets that side discard a card from the reserve.

As this is a solitaire game, the enemy's moves are predetermined generally by which piece is furthest ahead and which capture is most valuable, overridden by a priority to avoid or escape check. Pawns reaching the end of the board don't become another piece, but a passed pawn in your favor lets you make two turns while two enemy passed pawns is a loss.

For a chess-themed game, the game doesn't feel like chess even considering the liberties needed to make a chess-like one-dimensional game. For one, the pawn promotion mechanic works differently, pawns sort of stick around at the end of the line, pushed back whenever a card enters the board. The move sequence takes a bit to understand, but a turn must end in a capture. Considering the board can only shrink once the kings arrive, checkmate is inevitable if you haven't lost before that.

Card values are similar to chess, if a pawn captures a rook or any other piece captures a queen you get to discard an extra card, a hard thing to pull off when higher-scoring cards are more slippery, add the enemy algorithm's preference to capture this way and high-level sacrifices are riskier.

We're still a ways until we find that perfect mix of cards and chess, but you can't say this game didn't try to be unique. I'd argue the mechanics make 2-player play possible, with pawn promotion the only sore spot.

Game Review: Seat and Eat

You guys remember Diner Dash?

Seat and Eat tasks you with optimally seating customers in your restaurant across four tables. There's no need to worry about diners impatiently waiting for a table; you score points based on complete table arrangements, each card scoring based on seating and table conditions. Draw a card and place it on an empty seat. Once a table is full you immediately score, then the table is cleared for the other guests, and this goes on until the end of the shift (the whole deck). Partial tables score half in total. The goal is to score at least 120 points.

Simple enough to play, but as with most games that have self-referential scoring conditions, you have many factors to consider with each play even if there are optimal arrangements. A card scoring might prevent another from scoring, and it's a matter of decisions given the non-zero nature of the scoring dynamics.

The layout is also another dynamic to this. There are three positional relationships that score: being adjacent to a card, being across a card and being in the same table as a card independent of whether either of the first two are true. Each card scores based on only one of these relationships and one card scores based solely on where it sits, though it scores decently enough to be a consideration. Every table is a set of cards mutually connected to each other, and there's four of them working independent of each other. Card placement has its consequences even if it doesn't affect the whole board; a card has effect once it's placed.

The quick points/long term gains dilemma happens at the same time given the way the game works, there is no rush to complete a table but you can't just delay until the right card comes. As for counting cards, what matters is what can no longer score so you safely make a play without interference.

The game requires a large play area but it's simple to get the hang of and is just like arranging real tables.

hUntanoMAD: Stealin' - 3 pts, 1 vt

ihatesegfaults: if doraemons pocket was a backpack and the painting was a portal... - 6 pts

NotTaskmgr: "so yeah, this bag was given to me by hermione granger, as you can see, its bigger on the inside than the outside..." - 4 pts, 3 vts

Fargblabble: "No... not that. Not that either... Look, I am pointing at your penis, alright? There is only one sacrifice that will break the ancient curse." - 11 pts

Chadomancer: Airport Security is getting downright medieval. - 9 pts
littlebitofSonshine: Cleaning the blood off from the last knights ears. - 3 pts, 2 vts

Kemistry: it took a long time, but it does seem trickle down comings eventually filled his purse - 4 pts, 2 vts
Avandor: Do you have a receipt for that? - 10 pts
silvermare: harvesting Sword Lesbian sap in AO3's smut fields - 4 pts, 2 vts

								3		3
			3		3					6
				1		1	2			4
	1	2		2	1		3	2		11
3	2	1			2		1			9
			2					1		3
1		3								4
2	3			3		2				10
			1			3				4