Here are the stories and results from that story contest on the first post, rather overdue. These will be ordered as how it went in the final, with scores next to the entrant name.
A. JXQZ - 70 points - 5th
She met me on the balcony for some fresh air. The party was jumping pretty well, but I felt uneasy. I smiled when I saw her, and she smiled wider. I said, "you shouldn't be out here, it's too cold." She just grinned and said, "I couldn't find you inside."
"You've been acting weird all night" she said.
"I have?"
"Do you want to tell me what's up?"
"I never expected I could feel this happy. Its unreal."
She held my hand and we looked out.
"I'd kiss you if no one was watching," I said.
She kissed me anyway.
B. will408914 - 25 points - 15th
So a few years ago, I was doing my regular Crimbo thing: scrimping, scrounging, Scrooging, and just generally trying to make meat. Despite my years of playing, I'm not very good at it. Then a clannie, someone I didn't even know, started handing out Mr A items to everyone in /clan, just because, and I was floored, at their incredible generosity and the wonderful atmosphere that it produced. That convinced me: I wanted to see that atmosphere spread. I'm still not very good at finding loot; but I try to hold a game on occasion, in the spirit of Crimbo.
C. qweruiopasdf - 29 points - 14th
I was approached by poor, unfortunate reindeer to hand out flyers. Being the unhelpful adventurer that I was, I ignored them, their fliers, and the quest that had popped up. When Crimbo ended, I was relieved; Crimbo was overhyped. But the quest had not disappeared. In fact, I thought it had climbed a few places higher on the quest log. I had to equip the flyers, and proselytize. This was impossible. Crimbo was already over. I wanted to forget the quest. I could not. I knew it was there; I remembered. And I will always remember my ignorance, and suffer.
D. Monechetti - 42 points - 11th
Nestled in, ‘nogged, festively drunk, I equipped my Crimbo jammies and loaded up KoL for a fun time, grinding, reminding myself of the reason for the season which is pleasin’ my desire to collect one-time drops and forgot that I needed to stock up on essentials so I headed off to the mall and bought all that I’d need to ensure a great Crimbo grind; grind I did, though I fell forlorn that there wasn’t really anything to gain save the fame of getting old trophies again but that’s enough cause it’s not getting the stuff but stuffing the get.
E. Mco - 49 points - 9th
It was a frigid crimbo season. I had awoken that morning to the promise of meat, presents and holiday revelry. what i found was an absence that would make a blank page seem cluttered. Some of my meat was gone and nobody was in the spirits. After searching all over my campground i found a scarce trail of day old pieces of meat and eventually found the culprit: a starving uncle crimbo was gnawing on a dry piece of meat. I carefully started feeding him and saw joy returning in his eyes. Before long, cheers resounded through the kingdom again!
F. The Grid II - 31 points - 13th
Tido was my pupper, and we strolled down the beaches and played catch. We were buds. But one day, I met someone. This person was awesome, and we strolled along beaches, and we grew to love each other. We would stay up late discussing memes and trying to understand quantum mechanics, and walking on beaches and playing catch, but Tido never even graduated high school. It wasn't long before my dog was scheming to kill me. One day while we were playing fetch, he attacked. He had to be put down, so for Christmas I gave him a body slam.
G. Lesbian_Syphilitic_Spanker - 72 points - 4th
I still remember when it came. It was a few minutes after rollover when it happened. Few people were anticipating its arrival, while most still hoped for something different, something that brought closure to previous events. High hopes can drive a person like no other fuel, but when you shoot for the stars and miss, you still get stuck wandering the cold void of space, and that's what happened. Last year, events escalated to a point where a deity had to intervene. But this year, we had no closure, only a hat. It came on the 25th. The Crimbo blueballs.
H. DemiGum - 41 points - 12th
Not too long ago, a baby adventurer first stepped their way into the kingdom. They wanted to Slay the Naughty Sorceress and Save The King; But was unaware that it was Crimbo eve eve. Confused they stumbled into their campsite, finding an advent calendar filled with places and monsters that killed them with every hit. Confused, this baby adventurer wandered to The Chat, listening and learning that they had come at an Auspicious time in the kingdom. When Crimbo next came, they vowed to be strong enough to actually have fun, and fun was had; And the lesson was learned.
I. CaptainCavemaniac - 60 points - 7th
A group of Russian corporations had hacked another robot reindeer crew, replaced the Santa and disguised high explosive bombs as presents. Their target, the new UK, Unified Korea. Major Motoko Kusangi was called, her mission, intercept the sleighship in flight. Aggregated information deciphered from strategic data mining revealed this was a decoy. Unified Korea was contacted, to warn of the bombs. The real target was the European Trading Confederation's main corporations. A truly hostile takeover. Kusanagi used all the neural and quantum processors available, disabling the army of Russian ELVES. The present she gave was one few ever knew about.
J. Kreegah - 74 points - 3rd
“Want your photocopied monster taken with Uncle Crimbo?", asked the patchouli scented elf. “Oh, that's your child! Many children that I see during Crimbo are indeed monsters, but yours is quiet, too quiet, almost like a little ninja trying to become Sensei Claus. This is yet another plot to ruin Crimbo isn't it! Isn't it! I knew that… oh, what? True, I haven't meditated yet today. Yes, that is much better. Ohhm, Ohmm on the range, where the reindeer and the antelope play...” She drones off leaving you relieved that you only visit the mall of loathing once per year.
K. PsyMar - 106 points - 1st
Once upon a crimbo dreary
As I pondered weak and weary
Over a tome of clip art and manual of transcendent olfaction from days of yore
Suddenly there came a rapping
As of someone gently tapping
Tapping at my chamber door.
Quoth my tired self, “knock it off, I’m trying to sleep here.”.
I ignored; then came a clapping
Just to rouse me from my napping
In the hopes that maybe someday I’d actually get up and go answer the door.
Suddenly I let the cat in
And he started speaking latin
Quoth the kitten,
Estuans Interius Ira Vehementi, SEPHIROTH!
L. Roderick the Unmarried - 67 points - 6th
I didn't even know crimbo was a thing the first year or two I played so I missed them entirely. Warbears were fun and tough, and flyering was kind of tiring, but the best crimbo ever was getting to BE A ROBOT! I was so fully immersed in being a robot and zapping things pew pew it was so much fun. I even got a cool robot outfit so I could just keep on being a robot if I wanted to. Thanks TPTB! I have to add some words here or my memory won't count. I need this many exactly.
M. Aeshma - 99 points - 2nd
‘Twas Crimbo and all was prepared. Sliders, pickle juice, and dozens of things to give me the strength to fight longer and harder, including some little blue pills I found. But yet… something was off. As I stumbled around the towering and menacing Warbear construct, the frigid air of the beasts left me crippled… and shriveled. I tried valiantly to slay the beasts, but they kept coming. I scaled their tower with some crazy belt I found, but could not defeat them. And that is the moment I realized the true horror of things… I was actually at my in-laws.
N. katzva - 55 points - 8th
Clearly sometimes my dear Candy, darling delight, you, sometimes an old dog will have new treats too!
And sometimes sugar, don't you want to know me, Candy girl, ha, you're the very best I've ever tasted, Candy sweet, all cream and crimson dressed and dolled for me, everything's up in roses!
No I don't know how I have never met you before, I've known for an eternity that you are the most delicious dream I have only just to eat.
Even ever afterwards, a thing of beauty is a joy forever, unforgettable notable illustrious quite unconventionally exceptional, Ms. Candy Cane!
O. tszdabee - 45 points - 10th
It was Crimbo! That time of the year again! I was just one month old when my first Crimbo happened. People started sending DNOTC boxes to me. At first, it was just one. I couldn't open it. I was like 'I'll just wait it out, it won't be a problem right?'. More and more kept coming - It just wouldn't stop! I could not find a way around it - I've tried opening the box with wrenches, screws, the untinkerer - Nothing worked. Then Crimbo came around and I finally opened the DNOTC Boxes! Guess what I got? A bunch of Holiday Funs!
Voting table:
Jury vote:
| Jury | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | Pts |
| JXQZ | 2 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 10 | 10 | 4 | 12 | 8 | 10 | ||
| will | 3 | 5 | 4 | 7 | 8 | 2 | 8 | 2 | ||||
| qwer | 6 | 6 | 10 | 3 | 1 | 1 | 4 | 10 | 5 | |||
| Mone | 7 | 1 | 5 | 8 | 3 | 6 | 2 | |||||
| Mco | 8 | 6 | 2 | 2 | 5 | 1 | 2 | 12 | 1 | 4 | 6 | |
| Grid II | 10 | 4 | 7 | 8 | 12 | 12 | 7 | |||||
| LSS | 4 | 12 | 8 | 3 | 7 | |||||||
| Demi | 4 | 8 | 3 | 12 | 2 | 5 | 1 | 1 | ||||
| Cap | 10 | 1 | 6 | 7 | 6 | |||||||
| Kree | 5 | 3 | 5 | 1 | 5 | 5 | 3 | 5 | 6 | 3 | ||
| Psy | 7 | 12 | 8 | 6 | 12 | 10 | 4 | 7 | 8 | |||
| Rod | 12 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | ||||
| Aesh | 1 | 12 | 10 | 12 | 10 | 4 | 8 | 10 | 10 | 12 | ||
| katz | 6 | 7 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | ||||||
| tsz | 3 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 3 |
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