Rather Dashing: Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the happy meal of an American - 14 pts
Nyker: Really? YOU want to "Super Size" ME??? - 3 pts, 1 vt
The Hombre: Forget the giant and the hobbit, can we talk about why the US doesn't have the Chicken McDo? - 5 pts, 2 vts
Westcliffe: I'll need at least one of everything on the menu. - 3 pts, 3 vts
VolcWatcher: My eyes are up there. Waaay up here. - 5 pts, 3 vts
Riccardo Benzoni: "Even the employee's are snack-sized!" - 9 pts
Sacez: Ill take one of everything please - 4 pts
ThePig: I totally didn't photoshop this - 2 pts
Tango Rose: David v. Goliath, 600 B.C. (colorized) - 12 pts
MYsTRoMaN: Sorry, we don't serve freaking anime titans here." - 3 pts, 2 vts
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Rather Dashing: welcome to the drive thru, can I take your order, life or children? - 16 pts
ShinyPlatypus: "Hungry eyes" - 6 pts
The Hombre: Open 24 hrs cause the devil doesn't take time off. - 8 pts
ifARMmeAT: Home of the Famous Creeper Bee - 0 pts
Lord President: When the goofballs finally kick in. - 12 pts
urk: Experience the Chickenjoy, or else... - 2 pts
VolcWatcher: The real hell's kitchen. Perfection. - 7 pts
DragonBoi3: Hey little girl how old are you?
Im elev- ohh your eighteen - 0 pts
ThePig: Genius design - 4 pts
Sacez: Welcome your new overlord! King Jollibee! - 0 pts
Indigo Rain: Jollibee. Be Jolly. - 3 pts
BrocktOOn: Jollibee knows what your soul truly hungers for! Jollibee can deliver it all to you...for a price! - 14 pts
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Rather Dashing: And this concludes our daily lesson about magnets - 6 pts, 4 vts
Lord President: I must go, my planet needs me! - 8 pts
leftMEdead: if you turn the pic upside down then hes doing a headstand - 4 pts
k3wLb0t: "And he said let there be light. And so i played neopets." - 3 pts
Sacez: "Someone put helium in my breakfast this morning, again." - 10 pts
Hawumph: Gravity Fail - 0 pts
DragonBoi3: Ok guys the airs fixed - 2 pts
ThePig: When you forgot to photoshop the ladder off clearly - 6 pts, 3 vts
Tango Rose: When you get so hot you need all the air conditioning - 5 pts
urk: How many Elder Gods does it take to screw in a lightbulb? - 7 pts
MYsTRoMaN: "Jose ascends to another plane, away from these computers and their outdated 'Windows 7' crap" - 6 pts, 2 vts
ToByOuS: Don't mind that, it's just the developers fixing an out-of-bounds exploit - 10 pts
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This is an introduction to my attempts at a sort of reclassification of chess pieces. To be honest, I am merely working on some older works of chess piece taxonomy, so I am not going to start from the ground up unless it's a blank that needs filling.
Usually, all this piece talk is within the context of either fairy/generalized chess or chess variations, but let's assume you have no idea what chess is at all. What makes a piece?
The Humble Piece
A chess piece is a piece that sits on a chessboard square that has a specified vector of movement across the board. This vector dictates which other squares it can go to from the square it is currently on.
For a chess piece to move, it has to leave the square it sits on and move to one of the possible destination squares. This can be blocked by other pieces or the geography of the board. If a piece is unable to move it does not cease being a piece.
While any Tom, Dick and Harry can place rules of movement for a piece, these essays deal with the ones we can neatly classify. This makes the subject matter a bit of a list of the ways a piece can move in a more or less regular manner.
The Way They Move
If it can only move one square at a time, it's a leaper, if it can make multiple leaps, it's a rider, if its movement in any way requires another piece, it's a hopper. Pieces that combine two or three of these move types are hybrids and are strictly only seen in chess variations.
Assume a distance, if a piece can go in every direction allowed by the distance, then it has full range, otherwise it is limited. E.g. if a piece can move a certain way in one direction but a different way in another, then this piece's range is limited.
Generally, a piece is blocked from a destination square if an allied piece is on it. Depending on the piece it can even block further destination squares.
If an opponent piece is on a destination square, the piece can go to that square and displace the opposing piece, thereby capturing it and causing a stop to the piece's trajectory. There are other ways of capture, but that's a different can of worms so captures in these essays are implied to be displacement captures.
Some chess variations depend on a piece whose capture can signify a win or loss of specific pieces. In orthodox chess it's the king that must be captured to win. Even if the action of capturing is itself not done, some moves cannot be done upon the implication that it will cause the capture of the king on the next turn. Other pieces can exhibit these same properties and in some cases extra provisions are needed for some class of pieces.
What to Expect
This is simply a sort of amateur attempt to give a consistent taxonomy of pieces that are used in generalized chess. Any names used for some pieces are either based on common parlance or the closest available naming that I can find, creating new names simply a last-ditch effort. As this was initially made as a text-only piece, pictures will be added later but the text won't be edited to reference any diagrams.
gANeLoN: ... don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter. - 9 pts
blockhead77: Orange shorts on an orange background? Oh knock off Naruto you slay me! - 5 pts
VolcWatcher: Shoplift-no-jutsu - 15 pts
Indigo Rain: Grabbin' an Italian Soda, Takin' a break from becoming the next Hokage - 1 pt
The Hombre: SSJ goku and emo vegita on a coastal vacation - 8 pts
Rather Dashing: Two CoKAWAI!!! Cola, please - 3 pts
Noobsauce: "Bet you I can steal a drink without anyone noticing" "You're on" *takes drink, Naruto runs away* - 9 pts
Llamasoup: I- I don't know how to process this uh... - 1 pt
Kitkatpatywhack: Nauruto had decided to settle down, grow some roots, start a family, talk with old friends - 3 pts
disco_1_: bottom text - 6 pts
astop: Teens dressed as anime characters roaming the streets - 6 pts
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Indigo Rain: he always wanted to drive a convertible... - 8 pts
Dragonmaiden: "That bee will be a sPoT oN my windShiELd" - 0 pts
Tango Rose: Meanwhile, in 3019... - 4 pts
Xyzaxy: when one game isn't enough - 2 pts
Rather Dashing: after the casualty report arrived, they decided that would be the last they will let budget constrains drive them to approve soccer games on the racing track - 7 pts
Westcliffe: John got a real kick out of the new drive-in soccer stadium. - 9 pts, 2 2's
Claive777: The refs USED to have a hard time keeping up... - 9 pts, 1 2
astop: Guy shows up in blue car and surprisingly doesn't crash anyone when parking it - 4 pts
Kitkatpatywhack: he is making his way downtown, driving fast, soccer past - 11 pts
Corman: Oh boy, I'm gonna take that sweet ball after I run over that idiot - 0 pts
The Hombre: Front row parking - 12 pts
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