Lifeson: The Inconvenience Store - 14 pts

bfgeshka: joining AR with slow ping - 6 pts

Spameggspamspam Baconandspam: This shop has really high prices! - 1 pt
Rick Tyger: "Must be this tall to buy fireworks... What a scam..." - 4 pts
lord of thieves: You must be this tall to order snacks - 2 pts

BlakAcid: "well there's your problem right there" - 1 pt

The Tyop Queen: New quest unlocked: 'Scale the Unstable Kiosk.' Reward: 1 meat and a broken leg. - 5 pts

Chadomancer: Theft prevention takes on new heights. - 10 pts

Ryu Gin: I wonder why the prices are so high. - 8 pts

Logan1237: The architect: Trust me, it ll look better from the road. - 6 pts

DrMotives: That's the 3rd most inconvient gift shop I've seen - 9 pts

	3	2		2	2		3	1		1			14
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3						1							4
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									1				1
1	2									2			5
2		1		1		3			3				10
		3		3					2				8
			2		1					3			6
	1		3		3			2					9

Game Review: Super Auto Pets Card Battle

Super Auto Pets is a fun little online game of strategically buying and placing pets then pitting them against another player's lineup in an auto-battler until someone runs out of pets. Between fights you can upgrade and swap pets to create a stronger batch of contenders and come out on top. Each pet has abilities that activate together creating combinations that affect your attack, sometimes in unexpected ways.

Can it be adapted onto the table? Plaid Hat Games took a shot at it with Super Auto Pets Card Battle, a tabletop version of the online game, with some adaptations to make it work. It features the same pet and item artwork as the original and the cards are stylized in the same way including graphics that are unique to the card game.

Two players try to win the most trophies over six rounds. Each round consists of a buy phase and a battle phase. In the buy phase players start wit three coins take turns buying cards from a common market for one coin or selling them to get an apple to add to a pet. In lieu of leveling up, one can discard three cards with the same hat to get a card from the next level.

After both players pass they then order their cards into a deck for battle. Players play cards from their deck until a pet appears in the battlefield, then both pets simultaneously attack each other and any damage settled. If any pets faint the next ones are drawn on the next turn, this continues until at least someone runs out of pets, whoever still has pets wins the round and gets a trophy, with the last round worth two trophies.

Pets start battle with equal health and power, indicated by the number on their card, they also have abilities that take effect at certain times, such as buffing the next pets, being able to throw rocks and deal damage before actually attacking. 

Previous knowledge of the original Super Auto Pets isn't needed to appreciate this game but those who have played the online version might find some differences that need getting used to. Even with such changes gameplay is close to the computer experience especially the ensuing chaos of battle.

It's a short game, but you'll find yourself cycling through cards in those six rounds, making every round unpredictable. The first round may seem a bit slow, then the pace picks up by round two, where tripling really comes into play and improving your lineup becomes more urgent as leveling up pets doesn't exist in the card game and tripling isn't a perfect analog for it.

What an auto-battler needs to do is find a way to handle the sense of determinism that comes with the genre, and Card Battle does this by letting players adjust their lineup just like in the original, even more so with how items don't just stick to a pet like they do in the online game. Access to the next round's cards adds unpredictability and you'll never be too sure what you're up against.

Rocks as adapted in the card game still deal damage outside of an attack, but with no way to attack any other pet it takes on a different form: you roll dice and deal damage equal to the number of rocks that appear. This takes place once a pet enters battle before attacking, adding just that extra bit of unpredictability of whether your pet will survive to fight or not.

Some causes for confusion include in tallying power and health and timing. Because both power and health are defined by the same number while damage is marked separately, mistaking a pet's current health to its current strength is a common oversight. When the number gets big enough there is no further need to calculate. Attacks happen simultaneously but for card effects the first player during the buying phase gets priority, this doesn't affect the flow of gameplay that much as most two-way play can be settled at the same time.

A quick game that's strategic but always surprising, Super Auto Pets Card Battle might have its differences with the PC version but is just as fun and chaotic.

Summerpalooza 2026 Results

Guess the final results of the semi-finals and the grand final of Eurovision 2026, with whoever gets the most points from correct guesses being the winner.

The participating countries and songs:

Semi-final 1:

Moldova: Satoshi - "Viva, Moldova!"

Sweden: Felicia - "My System"

Croatia: Lelek - "Andromeda"

Greece: Akylas - "Ferto"

Portugal: Bandidos do Cante - "Rosa"

Georgia: Bzikebi - "On Replay"

Finland: Linda Lampenius and Pete Parkkonen - "Liekinheitin"

Montenegro: Tamara Živković - "Nova zora"

Estonia: Vanilla Ninja - "Too Epic to Be True"

Israel: Noam Bettan - "Michelle"

Belgium: Essyla - "Dancing on the Ice"

Lithuania: Lion Ceccah - "Sólo quiero más"

San Marino: Senhit - "Superstar"

Poland: Alicja - "Pray"

Serbia: Lavina - "Kraj mene"

Semi-final 2:

Bulgaria: Dara - "Bangaranga"

Azerbaijan: Jiva - "Just Go"

Romania: Alexandra Căpitănescu - "Choke Me"

Luxembourg: Eva Marija - "Mother Nature"

Czechia: Daniel Zizka - "Crossroads"

Armenia: Simón - "Paloma Rumba"

Switzerland: Veronica Fusaro - "Alice"

Cyprus: Antigoni - "Jalla"

Latvia: Atvara - "Ēnā"

Denmark: Søren Torpegaard Lund - "Før vi går hjem"

Australia: Delta Goodrem - "Eclipse"

Ukraine: Leléka - "Ridnym"

Albania: Alis - "Nân"

Malta: Aidan - "Bella"

Norway: Jonas Lovv - "Ya Ya Ya"

Automatic finalists:

Austria: Cosmó - "Tanzschein"

France: Monroe - "Regarde !"

Germany: Sarah Engels - "Fire"

Italy: Sal da Vinci - "Per sempre sì"

United Kingdom: Look Mum No Computer - "Eins, Zwei, Drei"

All the songs

Rehearsal clips

To enter, send your ranked top 10 for each semi-final (i.e. who you think will qualify and at what place) along with your top 25 for the final based on the two lists plus the five automatic qualifers.

Points will be scored as follows:

Semi-finals:

1 point for each correct qualifier

Bonus points for each correct ranking (12 for 1st, 10 for 2nd, 8 for 3rd, 7... 1)

10 points for getting all 10 finalists right in one semi-final

30 points for getting all 20 finalists right in both semi-finals

Final:

Points for each correct ranking (25 for 1st, 24...1)

Summerpalooza 2026 Rules

  

 

J Diddy: They don't know I poisoned it

riverclaw: when your parents ask you to share with your siblings

Zeko: no, to get the ratio right you have to weight it before adding the stench wad
DiscoName: weighted training noodles
Ashuralol: I want a spoon
Frogina: "Mooom! He still got more than me!"
Demit: 'see?! I told you! Your plate has 4 ounces, but mine only has 3.98"|
blockhead77: You can't be too careful around the noodle bandits
thebetter saaauuuccceee: When you're faster than your friends at dinnertime.
Antic the Fearless: When your kids are always complaining that their siblings are getting more food than them.
Thereminivan Beethoven: Counting Carbs: Stoner Edition

The not very chosen one: Average sibling food sharing experience

Painterguy: She jolli on my bee til I chickenjoy - 9 pts

Big Daddy Grimm: me laughing at the filter that made her look so silly - 5 pts, 3 vts

Sauceror Vitalysis: he says my face looks jolly - 2 pts
Zanthia: She must have had the beans. That realy stinks! - 5 pts, 3 vts
thebetter saaauuuccceee: Don't be suspicious - 1 pt

Chadomancer: Sandra didn't know it, but she was about to get her eggs deviled. - 4 pts

Frogina: When you find your ONLY fan - 14 pts

BoomBoomBam: The ever cautious Chef chooses only the most fragrant of meat for the daily special. - 5 pts, 2 vts

Tokyo Baby: When using phone is not allowed at work so you scroll with the customer instead! - 7 pts
Empty_Bottle: look at this phone, companion i am currently sobbing - 8 pts

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		2	2			1				5
1			1							2
					1	2			2	5
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								1	3	4
2	1		3	2	2		2	2		14
	2	3								5
	3			3					1	7
3		1		1				3		8

 

Anaeri: I didn't say 'Simon says' - 0 pts

chicken of loathing: me and the boys after the farmer takes our eggs - 6 pts, 3 vts 
Fire Salamander: Jim never did come back to the bar. Everyone there was just too cocky. - 12 pts
Attila: Call some chicks! Just a cockfest at the bar tonight. - 8 pts

soulesslife: Ah chicken's favorite alcohol, Hennessy. - 7 pts

fkj: four chickens with beer bellies drink with a man - 1 pt

SamhaineTsuke: "Man, when you said you were throwing a hen-party, I thought you meant something else!" - 6 pts, 3 vts

Ryu Gin Verboten Revanant: We can leave in a few minutes. Just let me just get my beak wet. - 6 pts, 4 vts
Pawlifer: Five cocks walk into a bar, one of them was adopted. - 11 pts

										0
		3				1		2		6
2	1		3	1		2	3			12
3						3	2			8
1	2		4							7
							1			1
		2			1			3		6
		1		2	2			1		6
	3		2	3	3					11

Kol Miners Daughter: The chess club met at the table periodically

PAINterguy: Mercury to C4
PaUNCHy: You drank my battleship!
Mr Ham: Every move is a solution.
EclipseTorch: "Floor will be purple"
Ipskulin: Beer pong for mathletes

wh1rl: chemists chess tournament

Fire Salamander: Two chemicals, both alike in dignity, in the basketball where we lay our scene.
Zeko: knight to e4 i take your flask of meth!
Zanthia: And thus, The Matrix was born.

A Sorta Overdue Review of The Vale of Eternity

My first experience with Vale of Eternity was back in May 2025 where in preparation for my volunteer coaching at All Aboard Expo, I went to the nearest Gaming Library store to get the hang of things. One of the games to be featured was indeed Vale and upon first game it was an immediate hit for me. A game totally outside of my radar instantly became a must-get for me.

So did a lot of people. There were tons of preorders that there weren't enough copies for sale on the event itself and couldn't count for any sales records because of it even though it sold out. I finally acquired my copy by August, which ironically came later than its first expansion.

Vale of Eternity is a bit hard to pin down genre-wise. The way I described it during the convention was that it's a game where you summon creatures and get the most points doing so. That statement is a very rough summary, but the newbie doesn't know what "engine-building" is.

The game goes either up to ten rounds or after someone crosses 60 points, whichever goes first. Each round consists of a hunting phase, an action phase and a resolution phase. 

In the hunting phase creatures are dealt up and players take turns drafting two of them to use in the action phase. The action phase is where drafted cards are sold or tamed, it's also where summoning happens. Summoning costs stones which you can acquire through selling creatures or card effects, without these stones you really can't do much on your turn.

To summon a card you pay the price listed on the card and play the card on your area. Cards feature various creatures with unique effects. Some happen instantly at once, while others either permanently affect your area or resolve after the action phase. These creature effects are where game points will come from, though some effects can also next extra stones or cards/summons.

That is a rough summary of Vale of Eternity's gameplay. It may be a bit rough for some who have some experience playing as the language in the rules and card effects are as precise as a trading card game. There's no room for ambiguity in a game like this where a lot of effects have conditions to fulfil.

There are five families of cards in Vale, which define more than its sell value; families revolve around some theme that make them work when played together. Each family has its strategy and cards of different families can still synergize well so while you don't need to stick to a family to have a working strategy, a setup based on the same family will have a better dynamic. 

Cards are effective based on what part of the game it is, giving room for tough decisions on whether to dispose of a card or hold on to it for later use; whether to play the card now or later and sequencing actions to great effect. Passive gains are just as important as the instant gains from instantaneous effects, in fact every part of the card is nontrivial. Cost and even what type of effect a card has can come into play in some cards. This means that there are more connections between cards and synergies pop up in unexpected ways.

What makes the game fun is the chaining of moves in both the action and resolution phases. You can chain moves for points in either phase or even use the resolution phase to fuel the next round's moves. Of course chaining is expected in games with an engine-building aspect but the free rein in the order of actions and activations is another feature of Vale's gameplay.

Resource management comes up when doing such combinations, as you can only hold so many stones and have so many summoned cards. This also means that order matters in your play, some moves will open up or close your options and will depend on your style. 

The way it plays is like a combat TCG but without direct combat and a common randomized selection of draft picks, so depriving your opponents possible combos in the hunting phase is as important as playing yours during the action phase, though not a lot of interaction between players happens during gameplay otherwise.

A game that's easy to pick up that even with the same bunch of cards never feels the same with every play, it's more skillful than it seems at first glance. Thank goodness I crossed paths with Eternity cause I cannot recommend enough, only when the store runs out of stock.

Crimbopalooza 2025 Results

 

Game Review: Against the Clock

Against the Clock is a solitaire race where you race against yourself in a rally course complete with time bonuses and penalties, it takes as much skill and favorable circumstances as an actual drive.

The track is split into three parts, and the path is a line of cards. Along the track you try to go as close as possible to the value of each card on the way with the cards in your arsenal, representing your controls. Three piles for three gears with separate boosts and brakes comprise your car's gearbox that you play on the track, boosts and brakes letting you add or subtract your running total by one. You can opt to move to the next card even if you're short of matching the number, though this does incur some penalties.

Matching the current card's value lets you go to the next one unscathed; matching it with one card earns a time bonus. If you have less than the current card and decide to move on, the difference becomes a time penalty, using more than three cards gives you an extra penalty, 16 penalties lead to a DSQ. If you ever bust you get damaged and also incur a penalty, three damages and it's a DNF. 

If you complete the first part of the track, the other two parts have shorter tracks but you have fewer brakes and boosts available for you. If you manage to complete the track your score is your time bonuses minus your penalties.

Like most push your luck games this is best played at a fast pace but with the amount of strategy involved you can't go too fast, rather fitting for a rally. Your cards are limited but so is any room for error, the main tradeoff being between pushing your luck or cutting your losses cause in a way it's better to take penalties than get into another wreck.

Note the types of cards that make up the track as in later parts you'll have more high cards on hand than what the track has while generally the other two piles have about the same number of cards on them. Some card counting is useful but it's mostly a matter of not ending up in a situation where you have no choice but to bust.

A fast-paced and thrilling solitaire for those who like to risk it on every turn.

Game Review: Candles & Cannons

Candles & Cannons is almost single-player Battleship: the theme is about firing cannons into the ocean and you would want to sink adversaries and mark your treasure. The difference comes in the card values determining whether your score will sink or swim.

The tableau is two fields for the shore and the ocean. You control the shore cards with its titular candles and cannons. Starting with one lit candle you swap cards up to three times before cannons fire. To light a candle you swap it with a lit one and each lit candle lights up the same square on the ocean grid. You can also the other cards with each other, wherever a lit candle goes the relevant square lights up and stays lit.

After three swaps cannons next to lit candles fire, landing on the same spots on the ocean grid, revealing any hitherto face-down cards. If it hits a pirate the cannon cards on it must be equal or greater to score, if it hits a piece of treasure it must be lower than the treasure or both sink to the discard pile.

After firing cannons a candle is relit then the other lit candles burn out. Grids are refilled when possible but the game only ends if it's impossible to relight a candle. Points are given for shot pirated and salvaged treasure and points are deducted for any sunken(discarded) treasure and any cards left on the ocean grid.

Make the most of the information available as you will have to take risks with what your cannons shoot. The game penalizes for missed cards as much as wrong hits so just having something to hit is better than leaving too many ocean cards at the end of the game. 

The two types of targets still play differently enough even if in any case hitting a card in one shot is better. You will have to fire at unknown cards so it's worth making the most of what you do know, candles can only show so much.

Ending the game is rather arbitrary and the late game doesn't have a sense of cleaning up as one might expect.

Summerpalooza 2025 Results

Chadsworthy: "When you've mastered the art of flatulentce, you can use it for propulsion." - 2 pts, 2 vts

Poopyfartbutt:

Me after 6 shots: gravity can't tell me what to do.

Him: what the hell kind of science experiment is this?

- 3 pts

CheeseyPickle: Behold! Pants on wheels! - 7 pts

Pope Puree: "Damn, white privilege is crazy" - 17 pts

dietotenh: "...When you divide by 0." - 2 pts, 1 vt
Ipskulin: "When the swamp ass has reached its limit" - 0 pts

Shakara: [slide whistle] - 19 pts
verDAnt puRplE: Gravity? Where we're going we don't need gravity. - 5 pts

Lyssa OwO: oklahoma - 3 pts

PAINterguy: When you hit the "hee hee" just right - 2 pts, 2 vts

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			3							3
	1		1		2		3			7
2	3	2		2	1	3	1	2	1	17
									2	2
										0
3		3	2	3			2	3	3	19
	2			1		2				5
					3					3
1								1		2

 

Zanthia: When Chef Marco realised what they meant by "Can you do the beets for the staff party".

SirStabsaLot: order up: one pan seared bass dropped in fresh beats!

Soxfan196o: when they tell the chef he needs to be the elvis impersonator and the dj
Avandor: DJ Remy moved on from cooking food to beats
Voryn: "When your hair is brighter than your future"

OctogenariCherub: "Though his coworkers shunned his act, Swedish Chef Mafia was the most successful Muppet endeavor of the 2009-2013 period."

Chadsworthy: Dr. Clayton Forrester before he turned to a life of torturing employees with crappy movies

LordVenom: let this man cook

Skent: 3d food printing at it's best

Painterguy: Hades if he part-timed as a DJ

Game review: Swamp

Swamp is a quick puzzle game for the 2025 traditional deck contest that is akin to peg solitaire with cards. The grid of cards in play represents a swamp of animals that feed on each other, and as one animal gets eaten in this ecosystem another appears (you draw a card onto the layout), with the goal of finishing off the deck without causing ecological failure.

Clubs represent bears, Spades represent hippos and Hearts represent hogs, the three predators that eat not only each other but also the prey: ducks in the form of face-down cards (diamonds when drawn are placed face down.) On each turn you move a card one space to eat it, then place a new card on the space. Clubs only move vertically and eat spades, spades only move horizontally and eat hearts, hearts move in any direction and eat clubs but only if next to another heart before moving. All three animals mentioned eat ducks. If three clubs appear in a row horizontally, three spades vertically you lose, you also lose if you run out of legal moves.

Mobility is key; cards aren't as mobile as you think and it's easy to become restricted as the small field combined with movement restrictions can cause gridlock where you least expect it. Managing the number of animals in play matters when an imbalance either means not enough cards of a type to eat (and move cards to) or a bigger risk of losing through a three-in-a-row.

Mildly puzzling yet surprisingly chaotic, it's a real jungle out there.

Zanthia: Lettuce pray....
Chadomancer: Your camouflage is off to a nice start, Wayne, but remember to match your WHOLE wardrobe to your surroundings.
LordVenom: the start of the trees taking over all hail the OverGod Maple
Big dAdDy grImm: you can always tell which kids didnt read the presentation for the group project

TurtlesPhi: Yes, We are very normal totally human beings. We are definitely not here to take over earth.
Kalebb: "At the galactic Aroboratory, Jackie Chan realizes that the Lorax was trying to protect us from the trees"

littleBitOfSonshine: Not cute,and we can still see you. Said in a droll voice.

Khlaharah: Just leaving around
Avandor: And with your negative modifiers to your stealth roll... yeah, they see you.
Anaeri: Local courtroom drama heats up as Tree #2 takes the stand

Chadomancer:  Dude flexed so hard, his abs popped right off. - 7 pts

Vhar07:  POV, You realize that your a character in a soon to be amazing book(Hope the book goes well:) - 3 pts

Funrmunt: "God help me if I hear another gutless or spineless joke" - 8 pts

Unconventionable:  "I'm nothing without my clothes" - 8 pts

Kalebb: 0% bodyfat? That's cute. Try 0% body, noob. - 14 pts

Voryn: "even after doing one push-up and pretending it was a full workout." - 2 pts

nisemono: "I'm too sexy for my car" - 0 pts

	2		3	1	1					7
					3					3
2			2	3		1				8
	1	3		2		2				8
3	3	2	1		2	3				14
1		1								2
										0

(drawn by Shuratoshi)