The Patron Saint of Depravity: We don't know what the ancients meant by this sculpture, but even so, the abs are kinda hot - 8 pts
Chadomancer: I hate waiting behind this guy. I can never get a head of him. - 10 pts

Unconventionable: Eyes? Umm, why would I want to look up there? - 3 pts, 2 vts
Gregonzola: Ichabod Crane says, "Hey!" - 1 pt
HuntaNomad: They told me it was all in my head, so, i did the obvious thing - 7 pts
Soxfan196o: When Your Body's Having a Meltdown but Your Head's Already Checked Out. - 3 pts, vt
Khlaharah: I need to put my head back into the game!  - 4 pts, 2 vts

NISEMONO: Air Space - 0 pts
LukeMcNuke: Aight, I'ma head out - 13 pts
Sparksol: Some days, no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't get ahead. - 4 pts, 3 vts
Aquafunky_Boogalicious: There. That should make getting this shirt off a little easier. - 13 pts

						2	3	2		1			8
		3		1	3				3				10
							2	1					3
	1												1
1			3						1	2			7
										3			3
		1		3									4
													0
2	3			2	2	3	1						13
		2	1			1							4
3	2		2		1			3	2				13

(Original, edited by Zach)

 

italianchefpastaway: Failed the constitution roll - 8 pts, 3 vts
Aquafunky_Boogalicious: Bood for the blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne! - 2 pts
Geodis: The low ping experience - 10 pts
LukeMcNuke: The atttempt on my life has left me scarred and deformed. - 7 pts, 1 3
Chadomancer: Today at the Kevin de Bruyne School of Acting: Selling the Dive - 4 pts

Unconventionable: #9 obviously did not get on the team for his reflexes - 7 pts, 2 3's
HuntaNomad: I always suspected football players were a bit slow, but this is ridiculous! - 8 pts, 5 vts
Soxfan196o: Did you see that mom? Timmy hit me and it really hurt. - 7 pts, 2 3's
Gregonzola: Auditioning for the World Cup is a challenge - 4 pts
NotWinlogon: the king of drama! - 3 pts

	3					2		3		8
			2							2
2	2		3	2					1	10
					2	3		2		7
					1		2	1		4
3		1		3						7
1		2	1		3		1			8
	1	3							3	7
				1		1			2	4
							3			3

 

Gawea: Pizza Hut's new promo, the Pumperoni, turned out to be both tasty AND handy. - 3 pts, 3 vts
Shakara: "... And now we wait. We'll catch those turtles eventually..." - 23 pts
Soxfan196o: when you are on a diet so you put the pizza on lockdown - 2 pts
Chadomancer: Unfortunately, they still got the rest of the bike. - 3 pts, 2 vts
Eggsmund Toastalis: "Gotta keep my Pizza of Legend safe while I go PvP, hope no one steals it." - 4 pts
Dragonmoo: Made sure to lock up my pizza before picking up the bike I ordered. - 7 pts, 4 vts
snarl: Later, the customer complained their food delivery seemed recycled. - 7 pts, 3 vts
TransRoofKorean: Why you should put the bike lock through the pizza bike's frame - 5 pts, 4 vts
WordDoc: "It's important to make sure the lock goes through not just the crust but the pepperonis as well" - 6 pts

Aquafunky_Boogalicious: TEAR. Yoink! Munch. - 1 pt
italianchefpastaway: "Dammit Jimmy, I told you to lock the bike frame, not the wheel! That's an entire pizza and our sides gone." - 5 pts, 2 vts

	1								1	1			3
3		3	1	2	3	3	2	3	3				23
	2												2
1								2					3
		2				2							4
		1	3					1		2			7
2			2	3									7
				1	1	1			2				5
							3			3			6
							1						1
	3				2								5